u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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