Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize