Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
