its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
