Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize