mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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