You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
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In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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