So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
