Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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