from now on my penis is your penis
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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