I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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