dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
