four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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