his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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