did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
