You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize