Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
