I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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