No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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