There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
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i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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