On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
