I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
