I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
