With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
