My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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