Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
