spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
