The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize