saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
