awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
