I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dicks are not precious.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
