Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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