that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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