can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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