my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
