Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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