Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he shaved USA in his pubs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
