i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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