Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
