I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
