So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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