i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
