STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
