the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
