So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
