Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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