I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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