Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
