there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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