i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I love having hate sex.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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