I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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