i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
