Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
