one might say we're banned from that church
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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