There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
