i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
