I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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