she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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