I think I died a long time ago.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
