Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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