Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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