Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
